Scene – Senatorial Hearing (Grilling) of Nominee for the ” FIB” position ( fill in the blank)
“Welcome, Mr. Appointee. How are you doing this fine day?”
“I’m doing well thank you.”
“ I have just a few questions for you and then we’ll let you go. I’m sure you have better things to do than answering stupid questions.”
“Oh, I live for them.”
“Pardon?”
“Um, Ok Senator.”
“I don’t think you have clarified your views are on this next subject. How do you feel about entitlements?”
“They’re the bane of society and I think they should be discouraged in favor of the good old American idea of working for a living.”
“Excellent thoughts Mr. Appointee and thank you. I have no further questions. I yield the floor to my colleague across the aisle and from the great state of great states.”
“Mr. Appointee I thank you for your time today. I would like to go back to one of your previous responses and clear up some detail
that I believe is missing.”
“That’s fine by me Senator.”
“You had responded to a question by my colleague from the great states of great states.”
“Which state was that?”
“ The great one. It was the question about entitlements.”
“Oh yes, I hate them.”
“Yes, I gathered that. In particular what entitlements do you not like.”
“Well, social security for one. People collecting social security and not contributing to society.”
“If I may Senator, could you read this definition from the dictionary.”
“Oh, a reading test. What happens If I fail?”
“Unfortunately nothing, in fact, you’ll probably get re-elected.”
“e-n-t-i-t-l-e-m-e-n-t. entitlement : the state or condition of being entitled.”
“That’s one meaning but it doesn’t describe how you get to that state in the first place. If you read the second meaning it will tell us how the condition of entitlement is reached. Can you read that one also?”
“These are getting harder. entitlement : a right to benefits specified by law or contract.”
“Correct. When we are talking about social security we are saying that people have a right to those benefits because it’s part of the contract. They pay a tax from their paycheck and that money goes to fund social security payments. They are entitled to those payments because it’s their money.”
“Oh, so it’s their money. Wow, you just blew my mind. I haven’t had that done since the sixties. ”
“Oh, I doubt that. On that note, I move to adjourn until tomorrow morning.”
Like thoroughbreds breaking out of the gate the Senators made a beeline for the exit.”
Heard above the din were various exclamations to the gist of “So that’s what it means, “I second that” and “Oh boy leftover meat surprise again”.
