Pioneers No More

We are a far cry from the early pioneers that settled this country.
If any lessons can be learned from the last couple of years is that we as a nation are far removed from the sturdy pioneer stock that settled this country. Thankfully, for the most part, we no longer have to be of that stock. I suppose there is a possibility that we might have to colonize Mars or some other planet in the near future. Heaven help us. I can imagine some of the headlines that would be generated in such an effort.

“Angry women almost kills self when yelling about the tight fit of her space helmet.”
“It was hectic as we were preparing for landing and there was a brief moment I pondered not stopping her when she tried to loosen the seal on her helmet.” Said space flight attendant Fred Granby. “But then I thought about life in prison if I was charged with complicity and just thinking about it was going to give me nightmares.
Still, I did briefly pause when she yelled something about her rights.”
The unfazed man in the neighboring seat calmly stated. “Space travel does not come without risk.”

“Family learns painful lesson.”
The last words of space settler Stanley Simmons were “I am not a sheep and I will not put my helmet on.”
He uttered these words just before he exited the oxygenated confines of New Chicago. Mrs Simmons stated, “Yes it’s tragic but fortunately in this case he always had to be the first out the door. You can bet your Aunt Fanny I and the children made sure we had our helmets on. Sadly he is not around for me to tell him I was right. “

The training and testing for future space pioneers will probably instill a pioneer spirit in them or Darwin will weed them out.