The educational institutes of America are failing us.

How else can we explain the national reaction as one of surprise and vacant looks
when our fearless leader praised the colonial army for defending airports during the revolutionary war? 

How could the concept of air power during the birth of a nation be overlooked?

I’ve entertained quite a few explanations as to how this gap in our collective consciousness could have occurred.  Only one explanation makes sense, fake historians.

The only way to counteract fake historians is to develop an alternate history curriculum.

A peek into a classroom using  such a curriculum might look like this:

“Now class lets do some review for the upcoming history exam. I am going to ask some questions that could be on the test. If you think you know the
answer politely raise your hand.”

“How many candles were used to signal the arrival and mode of transport  of the invading British forces?”

“Yes Dianne, how many.”

“Two miss Simpson.”

“That is incorrect. How about you Katie?”

“Three candles mam.”

“Correct and what did they stand for?”

“One if by land, Two if by Sea and Three if by British Airlines courtesy shuttle.”

“Correct Katie. Certainly less romantic than the vision of Mr. Revere atop a muscular steed galloping through the night but much more pragmatic.”

“Why were the solders cold at valley forge?”

“Yes Bobby.”

“Their winter clothes were in their luggage that was lost making a connection at Ohare airport.”

“Correct Bobby.”

“Can anyone tell me about the stamp act?”

“How about you Jason?”

“New History teaches us that the stamp act was British Airways attempt at redefining their frequent flyer program.”

“Correct and how exactly did they redefine that program?”

“Yes Alicia”

“By resetting everyone’s milage to 0 to avoid pay out to a large number of members that had accumulated enough for any awards.”

“Outstanding Alicia.”

“What do we know about the Boston Tea Party?”

“How about you Simon.”

“New History reveals to us that the Boston Tea Party occurred in the British Airways lounge at Logan International Airport when a large group of frequent flyer members stormed the lounge to assert their right to the use of the lounge under the old frequent miles program.

One additional act of civil disobedience was carried out by the patriots. They stole the lounges entire stock of tea. No one knows exactly became of the tea but many historians believe the large amount of tea was personally used by the patriots involved in the occupancy of the lounge. They point to historical records that suggest that the patriots involved with the siege showed signs of severe insomnia.”

“Very good. Class I am impressed. I believe you will do well on the exam. Also, make sure you are not paying attention to any history books you may have from previous  classes.