Frank Bronski was in his borrowed office at his borrowed desk,
thinking. Frank was not what he would call a wise head, what most people today would call smart but he had his moments. He just had a brain storm, which in Franks case was usually the sign of a brain cell dying and giving up its last thoughts. Yes plural, we’ll give Frank the benefit of the doubt.
Frank would credit the Scotch but the brain cell dying is a better bet.
He had come up with an idea to help pare down the multiple Steve Simpson doppelgängers that existed in Boulder. Now the problem was much more than just selecting the guy named “Steve Simpson”, because wouldn’t you know the names of the three guys listed on the internet were, S. Simpson, Sam Sims and Jon S. Doe. The last guy dropped the usual “h” so as not to make it appear too obvious. This guy was a real Einstein.
His idea was a variation of a copper device he’d seen on various police shows. They usually had a list no good punks who had warrants out for them but who disappeared 1
They would trap them by notifying them they had won some gift.
To get them they had to a specific destination to pick them up whereupon they would get arrested. Go directly to jail and do not collect your gift. The cops couldn’t find these guys but strangely enough the crooks picked up their mail.
Go figure.
Frank always thought that was a pretty wise idea. For Boulder he thought he would need a little different idea but since pot was now legal he didn’t think that would attract anyone let alone middle aged men. His alternative was CBD oil2. Today’s panacea for aches, mood swings and pain in the ass bosses. He didn’t know a middle aged man who wouldn’t try anything new to tackle the new aches and pains that were suddenly cropping up.
Thanks to the magic of the internet Frank had the doppelgängers addresses and now he needed to concoct a letter and a questionnaire that would help identify the real Steve Simpson. Fortunately he only had to make three copies of the same letter. He was on a thin budget and any savings helped.
Dear Sir,
We have a wonderful product for you free of charge.
We have developed a new type of CBD oil guaranteed to get rid of all your
aches and pains and help you deal with pains of the non physical variety in your life.
The new product is Final Frontier CBD. We’ve gathered experienced stoner Trekkies from the area and have crafted the purest non THC containing CBD oil on the market. Just show up to 1313 Pearl Street on the third Monday in this month anytime between 8am to 8 pm. Once there your only requirement will be to present this letter and fill out a simple questionnaire before picking up your free CBD oil.
It will be, um, cool to meet you.
Yours truly,
FF CBD LTD
Frank thought the more acronyms the better.
Now he just had to send the letters and wait for the CBD lineup Monday.
What could go wrong.
Note: 42? Apparently a number in the title will get the blog post more clicks. Sometimes I just go with it. I am sure Frank has had more than 42 brain storms.