Monthly Archives: December 2024

Humor, Noir

Boulder Noir: Chasing Shadows

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Frank Bronski had just spotted a shadow flitting in front of the decorated cars of the Boulder Holiday Parade of lights. No one else noticed it so when he went chasing after it, dodging in and out among the parade vehicles, people were a little disconcerted. “Hey you boob what are you doing” and “Get back on the side walk or put some pretty lights on yourself” were among the more PG-13 comments.

Frank caught up with the shadow as it rounded a corner into a back alley.

It wasn’t so much that he caught up, rather that it stopped once it entered the alley.

“Wait I have to catch my breath,” said a huffing and puffing Frank.

The shadow seemed unfazed by the exertion but that made sense to Frank.

“Why were you running away from me”

“Well, until I started talking to you I thought no one could see me.

I was curious the day I first talked to you and was quite surprised you heard and saw me. I am having doubts as to whether my interactions with you are a good thing”

“See is a strong word for how I viewed you. You were actually kind of like a glimmer that faded in and out.”

“That confirms my suspicions as to what is happening.

“Oh, please enlighten me.”

“I suspect you are already on your way to full enlightenment but let me fill in the gaps.”

“You have seen the mural that serves as my temporary domicile?”

“I have seen it and I suspected that one of the characters on it may have been you but is it possible you exist both in the here and now and on the mural?”

“Well the glimmering suggests that I do exist both here and there but

I also believe that if I disappear on the mural I will not longer exist in the physical form you see me now.”

“So, you believe in the Theory of Diminishing Joy?”

“Yes but it’s not a theory. It is reality.”

“Do you realize how crazy that sounds to someone not under the influence of any mind altering substances?”

“I have a pretty good idea but you are talking to an entity that defies any definition of “existing”.

“You have a point. So what part of joy do you represent?”

“Well I represent the inquisitiveness at the heart of creativity, the key ingredient in the joy occurring in Boulder, or used to be.”

“What do you mean used to be?”

“Well, you have recently returned to Boulder after being away for some time correct?”

“Yes”

“You must have noticed that there is not as much whimsy as there used to be.

That there are less occurrences of seeing someone in town and saying to yourself that person could not be from anywhere else but Boulder.”

“Now that you mention it yes and there also seems to be a lot less trust-a-farians in downtown Boulder.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Well I can’t explain the trust-a-farians but I can explain the other phenomenon.”

“Then explain away sir.”

“Boulder has been known colloquially as the Republic of Boulder. It has been called that for its independent spirit, counter culture movements, its defense of nature and just being natural in general. The people of Boulder have been proud of that and have taken great joy in being different. Those outside of Boulder have referred to the town as 25 square miles surrounded by reality. The interesting thing is that those inside the 25 square miles have redefined reality for those outside. Ideas that have derived from Boulder and except for a few isolated pockets have been accepted across the state. This also has happened with local businesses who’s unique products have spread across the country. When an identity derived from being unique is now faced with not being unique its identity fades away. This is what’s happening in Boulder. With its identity its joy is fading. Parts of that joy represented by symbols or images are taking up residence on that mural.”

“So why are you existing in reality and the mural.”

“I believe inquisitiveness is returning. I think you are an example of that. I believe that if others join you I will cease to exist physically but will become abundant in the community.”

A shout of “There he is” cut off any further thoughts from the shadow.

Franks past had caught up to him again.

“We’ll continue this later. Follow me” Yelled the shadow.

Around the next corner stood a dumpster dressed in holiday lights, an oasis among the refuse. They jumped in and were swallowed up .

Humor

Boulder Noir: The Theory of Diminishing Joy

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Frank sat at his desk pondering the Theory of Diminishing Joy. By “his desk” he meant the one he found in his newly acquired office. Its current state was “acquired” by dictionary terms, if the dictionary involved doesn’t mention anything about real estate agents or paperwork. He was at downtown Boulder’s newest vacant property and he was waiting for a good time to call Mrs Simpson, his first client, to tell her the good news.

He assured her that discussing it over the phone should be fine but he wouldn’t do it while she was at work. He’d wait until she got home since her husband was probably working late. “Really? She asked. “Really,” he said. She would be happy to hear her husband was just a workaholic and not a philanderer.

The Theory of Diminishing Joy was the most promising supposition about the “magic tunnel mural” that he had read about from the internet links Sticks had given him. The magic tunnel mural was the name he gave to the underpass painting. It wasn’t really a good name, as far as he knew the tunnel was not magic but the mural seemed to be a different story. He wasn’t married to the name. He was hoping inspiration would come to him through the eddies of time that existed in Boulder. That eddies speech had set up shop in his brain and when you’ve lived in Boulder for a while it starts to get some credence.

He had spent quite a bit of time losing himself down the various internet rabbit holes of musings, pondering and conspiracy theories about the mural from locals and non locals alike. The best idea that he had come across was the theory of diminishing joy. Joy was a fairly large umbrella but for many in Boulder the main component was creativity and the theory states that as creativity diminishes so does joy. Creativity takes many forms and as it leaks away the mural gains another character, symbol or some representation of that creative force according to the theory.

The shadow man appeared fairly recently on the mural and there were few ideas as to what he represented. There were also no known incidences of any figure from the mural materializing and appearing before the public at least not without the help of psychedelics. Frank was positive he had not taken any psychedelics on purpose. It was Boulder and he supposed anything could happen but he hadn’t licked any stamps lately and he was pretty sure the water source was safe. Sure he could have accidentally ate an edible but they didn’t tend to give him, um people, hallucinations or so he had heard.

He thought about shadow man for a while and nurtured any embers of a thought that could explain what he represented but the weather had been dry lately and apparently his embers were stunted by fire safety. He was going to have to ask the shadow himself. It was getting dark and jovial sounds from the street beckoned to him so he called it a day and went to investigate. He was in need of joy these days and took the opportunity to grab some when ever he could.

Emerging from his building he found himself along the route for the annual parade of lights. Vehicles and people festooned with holiday lights were cruising down Pearl Street. There seemed to be more people than vehicles sporting various forms of light but this was Boulder and it could be a part of their daily ensemble. The sight briefly brought a smile to his face until across the way he spied a moving shadow obscuring some Christmas lights. He saw an opportunity to get some questions answered and ran after it.