Men In Black: “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.”.
MIB came out after I had already formulated my theory on group intelligence. The majority of official studies on the matter had concluded that the collective IQ of the group is not as influential as group dynamics and dominant personalities.
My theory is much simpler and not based on years of research, group studies or pretty little ink stains.
It is based on empirical observation, also known as paying attention.
My version is much more pessimistic, in fact it’s downright cranky. My theory is stated as follows: I postulate that a person is smart, a couple of people are dumb and a bunch of people are barely functional.” The bigger the group the dumber it is.
Example in point:
In 1986 I was living in Washington DC and working in Alexandria Va. During normal conditions the commute was twenty minutes either way. One day a winter storm caused the return home to take over four hours.
The problem in that case was initiated by a large group of people making a decision. The decision had no chance of being a good one. The DC government had waited too long to decide something and then that something was stupid. They let all the government employees go home at the same time. That time being 2pm.
What ensued for me was four hours of the following routine.
1) Drive ten feet. 2) Stop and get out of my truck. 3) Push the car with Florida plates in front of me out of its predicament. Yes, it seems there was a large group of Florida plates. 4) Get back in my truck and drive ten more feet. 5) Shampoo,
What came in the days to follow was the usual finger pointing as to who did decided what about whom. If they had asked me, I could have saved them the time and trouble.
“Gee Dan what did we do wrong?”
“You used the word we. Does that represent a bunch of people?”
“Yes, Dan, I believe it does.”
“Ok that sheds some light. I believe you used the word “we” as in “we were making a decision.” “
“Yes, Dan we were.”
“There you have it then.”
“Excuse me. What are you saying?”
“You were doomed from the start. The odds of a large group of people making a good decision are practically nil.”
The situation is far from hopeless. I propose a national database that we will call “The official grand list of all the stupid things a bunch of people have decided across the ages,” or the OGLSD for short.
Not a catchy name? I’m not married to it.*** OGLSD would definitely contain the DC Government decision of the winter of 1986 and help folks to avoid repeating the same stupidity.
Of course “folks” is plural and may involve a bunch of people so there is always a chance a dominant personality could talk them into ignoring the past.
A historic example that may or may not be contained in the OGLSD.+
The soldiers of Troy:
“Hey it’s a wooden horsey. Should we bring it in,” asked Ardania.
“What harm could it do,” replied Colonae.
“I agree with Colon,” replied Piletus
“Piletus, Thanks for agreeing with me but you know how I feel about that nickname. Please its Colonae.”
“What does the King think,” asked Ardania.
“He doesn’t care what I am called,” replied Colonae.
“No. What does he think about the horse,” replied Ardania.
“The King does not want to be bothered and has delegated the decision to me. What say the rest of the soldiers,” asked Piletus.
“I took a poll and most of the soldiers that were sober thought it could do no harm,” replied Colonae.
The rest is history
*The people who publish The Darwin Awards may disagree.
**No its a figure of speech. The logistics of actually doing it would be quite difficult and would be slightly less dangerous than texting while driving.
*** If you have a better alternative then suggest it by clicking on the comment button at the end of this post.
+ I mean how often do you wake up to a giant wooden animal outside your gated community.
