High Tech Company TVParent announces the release of their new Alexa like product. The Marge 2.0. Its being billed as the Alexa that your parents raised.
The companies makers are hoping to be the television for next millenial+ generation or whatever they’re calling kids these days.
Our interview with a company representative, who declined to be identified, revealed the companies vision.
“We hope to reach that section of parents out there that long for the days when they could set their kids in front of the television and forget them for hours, without the worry of which video games are teaching them to kill , curse or pop a cap in a ho.”
We’ve surveyed many of todays parents and we believe there is a large market for a product to keep their kids occupied without any parent participation. You know kind of like school but like when they get home.”
After being granted a court order, we were able to obtain some of the survey comments which showed that participants believe their lives would vastly improve with such a product.
Response #18 replied – “Wow it sounds like that Marge would change my life , my golf game would greatly improve.”
Response #11 – “Sure they have video games but it doesn’t talk long before they reach thermonuclear armageddon or level out or whatever the call it and I have to buy them a new game. This sounds like I could ignore them at least until dinnertime.”
Response #23 -“Oh, sorry we don’t have kids. What was that dear, three of them? Oh, I guess I don’t need this product. ”
#Response #42 – “Wow, this Marge 2.0 sounds like a Godsend. You say It would never get tired of answering the same old questions over and over again, and probably give them the right answer 9 times out of ten. Wow. I just make up shit and they don’t seem to know the difference. Where do I get it?”
The company representative also replied to many critics who say its just an excuse to ignore your children.
“Pish Posh. They have plenty of excuses to ignore their children but to reassure the skeptics we have build in many of the same responses your mother’s used on you to keep you in check.
I couldn’t do them justice here . The audio we sent you is a good example.”
When asked if there was a Marge 1.0 the company representative referred to their legal team. The only available quote from the legal team was “The reports of injuries are greatly exaggerated.”