Tag Archives: Alexa

Humor

Marge 3.0 Has Arrived

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The Marge 3.0 Has Arrived. TVParent has announced the latest update to it’s Alexa like product the Marge 2.0.

The new version of the Marge 2.0 cleverly named the Marge 3.0 will have the ability to see and is specifically designed to give fashion advice. I spoke to company president Irwin Mainway about their new product.

“Mr. Mainway, Isn’t your product the same as the new Alexa?”

“Call me Irwin and no. Other than video capability  that’s where the similarity ends.”

“But the new Alexa gives fashion advice and so does the Marge 3.0, does it not ?”

“Yes, but the approach is totally different.”

“How so Mr. , Um , Irwin.”

“The target demographic we have in mind for Margie is totally different “

“Margie?”

“Yea, that’s our pet name for her around our office.”

“O-K-A-Y. “

“Anyway the target market we have in mind is skewed more to a male population lacking in significant others with which to guide them concerning fashion advice. “

“And that manifests itself differently how Irwin?”

“Well, for one Margie doesn’t use such big words like manifest. We try to be more direct with the customer. Perhaps an audio demonstration would make it more clear.”

“Yes, that is certainly , shall we say, more direct.”

“Oh I can say it. It’s more direct. The other product is going to dance around the issue and say things like “Sir, the color of that shirt is the wrong choice. It does not make your eyes pop.”Margie on the other hand will say “Sir, Are you color blind ? The color of that shirt in no way goes with those pants”

“You do realize many men are color blind. That could turn them off to Marge”.

“First of all, I don’t really want them to be turned on to Margie if you know what I mean. What are you some kind of freak. “

“Second of all, they know they’re color blind. That’s no frickin surprise to them but why should they announce that to the world from ten blocks away.”

“Good point and a good time to wrap up my discussion with Irwin Mainway about the upcoming release of Marge 3.0”

“You forgot to say it’s being released in two weeks at the very competitive price of $250.”

“Ok. Well there…”

“Say it. “

“TVParent will be releasing Marge 3.0 in 2 weeks at the very competitive price of $250”

“Nicely done.”

“Thanks”

“You know your company name doesn’t really make sense unless you make TV’s.”

“Yea, we’re working on a name change.”

Humor, satire

Marge 2.0 – The Alexa Your Parents Raised

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High Tech Company TVParent announces the release of their new Alexa like product. The Marge 2.0.  Its being billed as the Alexa that your parents raised.

The companies makers are hoping to be the television for next millenial+ generation or whatever they’re calling kids these days.

Our interview with a company representative, who declined to be identified, revealed the companies vision.

“We hope to reach that section of parents out there that long for the days when they could set their kids in front of the television and forget them for hours, without the worry of which video games are teaching them to kill , curse or pop a cap in a ho.”

We’ve surveyed many of todays parents and we believe there is a large market for a product to keep their kids occupied without any parent participation. You know kind of like school but like when they get home.”

After being granted a court order, we were able to obtain some of the survey comments which showed that  participants  believe their lives would vastly improve with such a product.

Response #18 replied – “Wow it sounds like that Marge would change my life , my golf game would greatly improve.”

Response #11 – “Sure they have video games but it doesn’t talk long before they reach thermonuclear armageddon or level out or whatever the call it and I have to buy them a new game. This sounds like I could ignore them at least until dinnertime.”

Response #23  -“Oh, sorry we don’t have kids. What was that dear, three of them? Oh, I guess I don’t need this product. ”

#Response #42 – “Wow, this Marge 2.0 sounds like a Godsend. You say It would never get tired of answering the same old questions over and over again, and probably give them the right answer 9 times out of ten. Wow. I just make up shit and they don’t seem to know the difference. Where do I get it?”

The company representative also replied to many critics who say its just an excuse to ignore your children.

“Pish Posh. They have plenty of excuses to ignore their children but to reassure the skeptics we have build in many of the same responses your mother’s used on you to keep you in check.
I couldn’t do them justice here . The audio we sent you is a good example.”

When asked if there was a Marge 1.0  the company representative referred to their legal team. The only available quote from the legal team was “The reports of injuries are greatly exaggerated.”